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Husband Saying to His Wife, ‘You Are Like the Back of My Mother’

Question

Selemu aleykoum, i read this fatwa, https://www.islamweb.net/en/fatwa/278194/intending-divorce-while-saying-a-word-that-has-nothing-to-do-with-divorce I wanted to know if it also applies to the zihaar?

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

The answer is yes, as the matter of Dhihaar here is the same as the matter of divorce; the expressions of Dhihaar are like those of divorce in that they can be explicit or implicit. The explicit one does not require an intention, while the metaphor depends on the intention of the husband.

While discussing the conditions of Dhihaar, Al-Kasani said in Badaa-i’ As-Sanaa-i’: “These include the intention according to Abu Haneefa and Abu Yusuf in some types of Dhihaar, but not others. For example, if a husband says to his wife, ‘You are like the back of my mother to me’, then this is Dhihaar irrespective of his intention, or when he had no intention at all, as this is an explicit expression of Dhihaar. However, if he says: ‘You are like my mother to me’, his intention is to be ascertained. If he intends Dhihaar, it will be effective, but if he intends respect and dignity, it will be considered accordingly.

Allah knows best.

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