Her husband wants her to spend more time with his parents than with her parents

29-12-2010 | IslamWeb

Question:

"My husband wants to spend time with his parent 70% and for my parents only 30% is that fair?" Please advise me through Quran and Hadith. Thanks

Answer:

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

The question is somewhat ambiguous, however, if you refer to the place of residence, then the answer is that the wife is obligated to reside where her husband resides if he asks her to do so except if she had conditioned on him in the marriage contract not to go out of her country [or town], in which case, her husband should fulfill her condition according to the preponderant opinion of the scholars  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  them. This is because the Sharee’ah clarified that the husband is the protector and maintainer of his wife, and that he has a great right over her and she is obligated to obey him within what is permissible. Allaah Says (what means): {Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allaah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth.}[Quran 4:34]

In addition to this, Qays Ibn Sa’d  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him narrated that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “If I were to order anyone to prostrate to someone else other than Allaah, I would have ordered the wife to prostrate to her husband for the right that Allaah had put for him over her." [At-Tirmithi] Therefore, a woman cannot reside with her parents except with her husband’s permission.

However, if the matter is about residing with the family of the husband, then the wife is not obligated to reside with his parents. If she is not pleased with residing with them, she has the right to a separate accommodation, and it might be that this accommodation is part of the family house with its separate amenities; for more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 84068.

In any case, the spouses should have a mutual understanding concerning any matters that may arise in this regard, as this may strengthen the affection and the good marital relations between them.

Allaah Knows best.

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