Severing Ties With a Sister Who Was Sexually Abusive
2-9-2026 | IslamWeb
Question:
Assalamualaikum. I was sexually abused from the ages of approx 7-9 by my own sister. She used to force me. I got used to it but ended up telling my mom and she made it stop. I still carry trauma memories from it to this day. My question is, can I cut ties with her because of what she did? I cannot stand her. The memories always come back. But I know islamically kinship ties are very important. Hence any advice would be deeply appreciated. I dont want to lose Jannah over cutting ties of kinship.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger, may Allah exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
We were deeply hurt by what came in your question, and we ask Allah the Almighty, Lord of the Mighty Throne, to strengthen your heart, to pour patience upon you, and to heal the wounds of your soul that none but He knows.
Know that what you went through is a great trial, and a grave [act of] injustice [performed by your sister], and what your sister did is among the abhorrent acts forbidden by both the Sharia and natural human disposition (fitrah).
As for what happened while you were at that young age (7–9 years old), you are not held accountable for it — even if it occurred with your willing participation — because you were still a young child, and the child is not held accountable until reaching puberty. So put it out of your mind and do not preoccupy yourself with it. And whether your sister was young at the time, or was an adult who has since repented to Allah the Exalted, forgive her, conceal her fault, and treat her as though nothing happened. Do not sever ties of kinship with her — for if she was young at the time, she bears no accountability; and if she was an adult who has repented from that shameful act and abandoned it, then one who repents from a sin is like one who has no sin. So do not sever ties of kinship with her, now that she has repented, especially as you evidently already understand the gravity of severing ties of kinship.
Allah Knows best.