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Husband Deserts Her Father And Claims Illegitimacy of His Daughter


Assalamuaikum! I apologize for my long question but I hope the details can explain the current situation a little more. My husband and I have been married for the past 3 and half years Alhamdulillah. We are blessed with a beautiful daughter Alhamdulillah. In shaa Allah we are expecting our second child soon. Since the past years, my husband has been repeatedly telling me about the conversations he had with my father that he felt were insulting and humiliating. He had clarified his feelings with my father about a year ago and Alhamdulillah things normalized. Unfortunately, we had an argument one day because of my husband's sisters which led to some past topics due to which my husband said some extremely hurtful things. It was very hard for me to listen to his harsh words - (Called my daughter haram and our marriage a lie) so I called my father and coudnt stop crying while trying to tell him what had happened. My father got very worried and he asked me to explain to him but I was not in a state to talk. My father then spoke to my husband and asked him what had happened at which my husband responded that he should be asking his own daughter what happened. My father got very upset and raised his voice at him for answering rudely and said he was going to come to solve the matter. My husband called his brother and told him that he was leaving me. Astaghfirullah, that did not happen as I tried to explain that it was my mistake that I called my father and have several times apologized for it. Since that day, my husband refuses to talk to my father. On the day of Eid, I literally had to beg him to talk to my father which he did but it is emotionally very stressful for me as it really saddens me to see my husbands behavior towards my father. My husband wants my father to apologize for shouting on him and tell him that his daughter is at fault. Lately, he got a new car. My father wanted to talk to him but he did not. Please advise!


All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

First of all, we advise you to adhere to patience, frequently recite Thikr (expressions of remembrance of Allah), and supplicate Allah, The Almighty, to rectify the relationship between your father and husband. Verily, the hearts are in the Hands of Allah, The Exalted, and He is over all things Competent. We hope that adherence to patience, Thikr, and supplication would comfort you and relieve your anxiety and stress as well as any other negative and adverse effects.

Second: If this man married you with a valid marriage contract as per the Sharee‘ah and has not divorced you nor annulled the marriage, then he has slandered you whilst you were his wife.

Merely denying his marriage to you and slandering you by calling your daughter illegitimate does not mean that a divorce or an annulment of the marriage contract took place. The daughter is attributed to him, and if you are pregnant, the fetus is attributed to him as well. He cannot deny his paternity to her or the unborn child except through Li‘aan (mutual oaths of condemnation).

Ibn Qudaamah may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  him said in Al-‘Umdah: “A man’s paternity of a woman’s child is not denied except through Li‘aan.” [End of Quote]

In Islam, paternity is confirmed on the basis of the slightest Shubhah (assumption that a marriage is valid while it is not). Ibn Taymiyyah  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  him said: “It is agreed upon by all Muslims that if the husband believed the marriage to be valid and thus had sexual intercourse with the wife believing it to be lawful, then a child born to them is attributed to the husband and the mutual rights to inheritance between them are established, according to the agreement of Muslims.” [End of Quote]

Third: It is absolutely impermissible for your husband and father to be in this state of estrangement from one another. Al-Bukhaari and Muslim narrated on the authority of Abu Ayyoob Al-Ansaari, may Allaah be pleased with him, that the Messenger of Allah  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “It is not lawful for a Muslim to forsake his (Muslim) brother beyond three nights; they meet so each turns away from the other, and the better of the two is the one who greets the other first.

Fourth: The bond of affinity by marriage is sacred and should be honored, being a blessing conferred by Allah, The Exalted, upon His slaves; He Says (what means): {And it is He Who has created from water a human being and made him [a relative by] lineage and marriage. And ever is your Lord competent [concerning creation].} [Quran 25: 54]

Therefore, the in-laws should maintain good relations with one another. We advise you to seek the help of wise people, whose opinion is hoped to be heard and followed, to intervene and reconcile between them. Reconciling between people is one of the best good deeds that draw one closer to Allah, The Exalted. Abu Daawood and At-Tirmithi  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  them narrated on the authority of Abu Ad-Dardaa’  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “Should I tell you what is better in rank than prayer, fasting, and charity?” They (the Companions) said: “Yes (please do).” He,  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “Reconciling between people. Verily, corrupted relations between people is the Haaliqah (lit. shaver; i.e. it uproots faith).

Fifth: If reconciliation is achieved, then this is the desired outcome, praise be to Allah; otherwise, it is sufficient for you to be on good terms with both your father and husband while continuing to supplicate Allah, The Exalted, and striving to reconcile between them without giving in to despair.

Allah knows best.

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