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Fatwa CenterUsing an appropriate method when advising old parents
Question
Assalam O Alaikum I have following questions relating to old aged parents. Your response InshaAllah will guide to right path:1. My mother is very old and weak she is diabetic also. She don’t have control over eating, can I say to her don’t eat too much? I know saying that it will hurt her feelings 2. If my mother is doing something wrong, can I advice her ( in front of my father
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
Such a method in enjoining what is good and forbidding what is evil is inappropriate to use towards mothers, and also giving advice to them in front of others, be it a parent or someone else.
You should choose the appropriate method, such as using the indirect approach of advising.
For example, showing her a video or an audio clip of medical specialists containing instructions for a diabetic person regarding his medication and diet. The same applies to wrong deeds that she may do, whether they are related to religion or worldly matters, benefiting from the specialists on the matter is the correct way.
Allah knows best.
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